Magical Doors and Moving Meditations: A Dialogue with Refilwe Nsibande
MAGICAL DOORS AND MOVING MEDITATIONS
A DIALOGUE WITH REFILWE NSIBANDE
Refilwe Nsibande is a children’s book author, literary activist, and storyteller committed to nurturing young imaginations and championing literacy across communities. When she’s not writing or advocating for the transformative power of books, she’s cultivating the land as a passionate farmer, running long distances, or testing her limits as a Hyrox athlete. Refilwe’s work and life reflect her belief in possibility, resilience, and the joy of balancing many passions with heart and purpose. She holds both a Diploma and a Bachelor’s degree in Information Technology from the Tshwane University of Technology (TUT). She firmly believes in making books accessible to everyone, either affordably or simply for free. This belief has led her to collaborate with Book Dash, to breathe life to two titles: Zibu and Zizo as well as Amahle Wants to Help. Her latest children’s book, Nikiwe’s Magical Glass Doors, has recently been shortlisted for the 2025 Otto Foundation Children’s Book Award.
BY NKATEKO MASINGA
This conversation took place in South Africa, via email.
Nkateko: Hello, Refilwe. Thank you so much for agreeing to have this conversation with me. Last year, Nikiwe’s Magical Glass Doors was shortlisted for the Otto Foundation’s inaugural Children’s Book Award, in the Picture Book category. How was that experience for you, from finding out that your work had received this recognition, to your book being featured in an area-wide Reading Relay, right down to the announcement of the winners earlier this year? Are there any moments in the journey that were particularly memorable for you?
Refilwe: Thank you for the question, Nkateko. Finding out that my book had been shortlisted was such a powerful affirmation. This journey tells me to keep pursuing what I am most passionate about. As a writer, my dream is to share my stories with the world and connect with readers, touching their minds and hearts. Having my book be part of the Reading Relay not only touched on that dream but made it a reality too, which was awesome. The most memorable and magical moment for me was receiving feedback from readers through their heartfelt reviews and beautiful drawings, which were the cherry on top.
Nkateko: Receiving positive feedback is truly a special part of the writing journey, and even more so when the readers are children and the people who read to and with them. I often forget what a huge role parents and guardians play in creating a reading culture in the home because I grew up thinking having books in every nook and cranny was a norm. My parents’ house was overflowing with books, and still is to this day, but I know that is not the reality everywhere. As a literary activist, you speak very strongly about the need for children to have access to reading material. Why are you so passionate about this, and do you think that screens and other digital tools assist or threaten the campaign for children to be able to read and write?
Refilwe: I’m passionate about this because I know the power of reading firsthand, and how it can change the trajectory of an individual’s life for the better, unlocking hidden potential.
Screens are definitely a threat to the campaign for children to be able to read and write. Not only do they steal valuable time, they also promote the culture of instant gratification that encourages passive and mindless scrolling. Reading pushes one to actively engage with the material they are consuming, causing one to think deeply about matters and have empathy. The beauty of reading is that it produces writers as well, meaning that when we get children hooked on books, we are encouraging the next generation of writers.
Nkateko: My niece recently received two of your books as a birthday gift and she absolutely loves them. She insisted on reading as soon as we opened the package and whenever she got stuck on a word, she would try to say it and then pause and look at the page for a really long time until one of us helped her with the pronunciation, which she would repeat before proceeding. On the second reading, you best believe she had mastered those words, no stumbling and no more second-guessing. She had such a strong engagement with the stories and pictures. Those intentional re-matches with difficult words and that little voice? Listen, the childfree movement is definitely losing one of its strongest soldiers in me when the men start acting right because kids are so darn cute! (Laughs).
On a serious note, I actually realised on that day that my niece’s reading benefited from my engagement but did not depend on it, and I think that is something I needed to acknowledge and where I have previously gone wrong. If I didn’t have time to read or play with her two years ago, I would have given her my laptop to watch something on, instead of giving her an opportunity to figure out how to mark or remember the words she needed help with and then ask me later. I don’t know why I chose convenience over patience, trial-and-error and memory-building, it’s almost as if I had forgotten that I still get stuck on words to this day, still put an asterisk next to terms I need to look up later and commit to memory. I am self-correcting now by starting a new reading tradition with her, and I think we are off to a really good start because she is already looking forward to getting another book.
“It’s a moving meditation. The repetitive cadence of footfalls and breath becomes a kind of ritual that clears space in my mind.”
Refilwe: What a heartfelt and beautifully reflective message, thank you for sharing this experience.
It’s incredibly moving to hear how your niece connected with the books, not just as a passive reader, but as an active and determined learner. The way she paused, looked closely, tried again, and then owned those once-tricky words, that’s the kind of engagement every writer and educator hopes for. Her persistence and joy in the process say so much about her, and also about the environment you’re helping create: one that values curiosity, patience, and growth over perfection.
Your honesty about your earlier choices is deeply resonant. It takes real insight and care to recognize those moments when convenience won out over connection, and even more heart to do things differently going forward. The fact that you’re starting this new reading tradition together is not only a beautiful act of love, but also a profound investment in her confidence, autonomy, and imagination.
And yes, kids are heartbreakingly charming when they’re deep in discovery. It’s no wonder you’re reconsidering your stance (laughs indeed). But seriously, your niece is lucky to have someone in her life who’s not only cheering her on, but also growing right alongside her.
Wishing you both many more stories, giggles, and those triumphant moments of “I got it!” on your reading journey together.
Nkateko: Thank you so much! As a writer, how much of your reading time is spent on research and how much is recreation? I find that the general advice to “read widely” can be seen as vague to aspiring writers because how wide? Beyond your genre, out of your comfort zone, more than the literature prescribed? Where does one draw the line, especially when it can begin to feel prescriptive and no longer spontaneous or enjoyable?
Refilwe: That’s a great question, and it’s one a lot of writers quietly wrestle with.
For me, the split between research and recreational reading isn’t clean, it overlaps more often than not. A novel I pick up “for fun” might unexpectedly illuminate a technique or perspective I needed without realizing it. Conversely, something I read purely for research might surprise me by being emotionally or creatively satisfying. So while I do intentionally read for both purposes, I try not to police the boundary too tightly.
You’re right that “read widely” can sound frustratingly vague. It’s often said as if the instruction alone is enough, but it rarely comes with a map. I’d say instead of “wide,” think “strategic curiosity.” Ask yourself: What kinds of writing challenge me? What voices don’t sound like mine? What subjects make me uncomfortable or confused? Then reach in that direction. That’s more meaningful than ticking boxes off a genre list.
As for drawing the line, especially when it stops being enjoyable, that’s key. If reading ever starts to feel like homework, take a step back. Joy and spontaneity are often the sources of your best work. It’s okay to chase delight, even if it doesn’t seem “productive.” Literature isn’t a syllabus you have to complete before you’re “allowed” to write.
Bottom line: Read with curiosity, not guilt. Let your reading life feed your writing life, not control it.
Nkateko: Sustenance versus control. That’s a really important distinction to make. This actually makes me think of another common interest of ours: running. What is your sustenance in that arena? I am thinking of fueling and training, but I believe there is more to it for each individual, depending on what their motivation is. Are there any rituals or principles that feed your running life?
Refilwe: That’s a beautiful and thoughtful question, it touches the heart of what makes running more than just a physical activity.
For me, sustenance in running comes from a combination of rhythm, reflection, and purpose. Fueling and training are the structure, of course, the balanced meals, hydration, sleep, and a mix of tempo runs, intervals, and recovery days. But beyond the logistics, there’s a deeper nourishment that comes from what running represents.
It’s a moving meditation. The repetitive cadence of footfalls and breath becomes a kind of ritual that clears space in my mind. It’s not about escaping life but entering more fully into it, kilometre by kilometre. Some days it’s driven by the need for clarity; others, it’s celebration or grief or simply the joy of being alive and able to move.
As for principles, one I hold close is to remain curious. I try not to run the same route too often, and I listen, not just to my body, but to the world around me. The wind, birdsong, even the silence. Another is humility. Some runs will feel transcendent, others will humble you to the bone. Both are welcome teachers.
Ritually, I warm-up and tie my shoes with intention. It’s a pause before beginning, a form of prayer, small but grounding.
What about you? What feeds your running life?
Nkateko: “a deeper nourishment that comes from what running represents…” That is so profound. My running life is fed by friendship and community. I started running about twelve years ago when I was in university. One of the friends that I lived with, Penelope, was an avid runner who participated in various races throughout the year. She invited me to train with her in the afternoons and then we started running races on the Pretoria and Johannesburg running calendars. She often had to drag me across the finish line! (Laughs). After about two years of running together, she moved to a different city and although we stayed in touch, I struggled to continue running without her.
Last year I decided to go back to running. I actually started with an 8km walk, and then I figured that if I didn’t die then surely I could progress to running the same distance or even longer. That’s where the current running streak started. I ran ten 10km races over four months, with some of them being back-to-back: my double-race weekends consisted of a race in Pretoria on a Saturday and another one in Johannesburg on a Sunday. When I figured I could run 20km in a weekend, I figured that I could give 21km a try. Then I ran ten 21km races over four months.
If I can be fully honest with you, I am at a point where I am figuring out my “why” for a lot of things, including running. I think that in the process of trying to improve and to get the right gear and to prepare for races the correct way, it has stopped being fun for me. And somewhere along the line, I have also stopped seeing the mental health benefits because I find myself stressing about affording my next pair of running shoes or the right supplements. I haven’t run consistently in about a month. Have you ever had a season similar to what I’m describing? Part of it is depression, and I know my mind is telling me conflicting stories that are keeping me stuck in my thoughts and off the road, but I also think that I started putting too many expectations on myself. I miss the excitement of the morning ritual, when it was just me and the concrete.
Refilwe: I’m really sorry to hear about your current relationship with running. It sounds like something that once felt simple and joyful has now become this mammoth task, layered with unnecessary complexities, and it really shouldn’t be that way.
Honestly, I blame capitalism for constantly luring us into believing we need the latest gear and gadgets to be better runners (but that’s a story for another day).
I know exactly the feeling you’re describing, when it’s time to run and suddenly the critics in your mental parliament start presenting thesis papers on why you shouldn’t bother. It’s such a tough place to be in, because deep down the runner in you knows you should be running, but your mental disposition just won’t cooperate. And that’s the part we need the most. When the mind refuses, even the strongest and fastest give in.
Personally, I’ve learned to allow myself the space to go through whatever I need to mentally. I only start pushing back when I realize I’ve been down for too long.
Nkateko: You’re absolutely right about the mind being the decider. The “mental parliament” is such an apt description! I will definitely be allowing myself the space and time to go through this season before I return to the road. You recently completed your second Hyrox Cape Town competition, and if I am not mistaken, it was less than a year after the previous one. I am in awe. Congratulations! How was that experience for you, as an individual and as part of a team of two? Do you think that hybrid events are where you thrive the most as someone with a multifaceted personality?
Refilwe: Yes, I first came across the concept of the “mental/neural parliament” in The Brain: The Story of You by neuroscientist David Eagleman, such a fascinating read! It dives into the intricacies of the human brain in a way that really feels like it’s telling the story of all of us.
I hope this hiatus brings you clarity in your running journey and helps reconnect you with your “why.”
I recently completed my second Hyrox competition. My first was a Relay, which felt relatively manageable, but this time I took on the Women’s Doubles, a much tougher challenge. My partner, Kagisho, and I trained hard and had a solid strategy to hit our sub-1:30 target. But things took an unexpected turn: I got sick, we’re talking dizzy spells, weakness, complete exhaustion. At one point, I seriously considered pulling out, which felt bizarre at the time, but I later found out my body was fighting the flu.
We had to adapt our strategy on the spot to accommodate how I was feeling. What got us through was clear communication and unwavering support from my partner and despite everything, we still beat our target.
Hybrid events really bring out the best in me as a multi-faceted person. The combination of running and functional movements pushes me beyond my perceived limits. Running 1 km followed by a workout, repeated eight times, is no small feat, it demands a solid aerobic base, strength foundation, and mental toughness. I love running, but hybrid events are where I feel like an unstoppable athlete, like I can take on anything.
Nkateko: That’s brilliant. Thank you for the recommendation. I will definitely get myself a copy of that book.
That unexpected turn during the Hyrox event sounds terrifying. Congratulations to you and Kagisho on beating your target despite having to adjust your strategy. That is such beautiful teamwork. I hope that you have been recovering well.
You are involved in a lot of activities each year, both as a writer and an athlete. How do you manage your time, especially in busy seasons where there are several projects on the go at the same time?
Refilwe: It’s not always easy to manage time across multiple projects, but to ensure my tasks are completed timeously, I intentionally carve out time for my different “selves” using the Ulysses contract, another concept I encountered in David Eagleman’s book. A Ulysses contract is an agreement in which an individual decides in advance to limit their future choices in order to achieve a desired outcome. It’s not always easy or even possible, but I push myself to see my goals through to fruition. There’s also a quote by A.R. Bernard, that comes in handy when I whenever I think of slacking , breaching my own Ulysses contracts or simply coming up with excuses to not do something , it says: “excuses are the crutches of the uncommitted” , I learned it years ago, but it does something to my psyche that gets me back on track to get my projects to the finish line and on time.
Nkateko: You are so inspiring, Refilwe. Thank you for sharing so generously from your own wisdom as well as the principles you have learned from others and adopted in your life. I have truly enjoyed being in conversation with you over the past few weeks. This winter has been one of the toughest that I have ever experienced, but as the fog lifts I realise that I have been anchored by so much love, and our conversation has been one of those anchors. It has given me kind words to return to, a friend who I am accountable to, and an opportunity to speak about several passions at the same time. Passions that I need to return to and nurture with intention and consistency. This has been a lifeline. Thank you. I am excited to witness more of your journey going forward.
Refilwe: It has been an absolute pleasure and honour conversing with you. Thank you for journeying through this interview with such grace, it’s been a joy to explore what it means to be multifaceted, to juggle multiple passions, and to seek balance in the midst of it all. I’m deeply grateful that you shared pieces of yourself with me; I do not take that for granted. It warms my heart to know that our exchange anchored you in love and created space for you to reconnect with your own passions, what a gift. It truly felt like speaking with an old friend. Thank you, once again.
Nkateko Masinga is an award-winning South African writer whose poetry has been translated into French, Bengali, Tamil, Kannada and Romanian. Her latest book, Daughter Wound, was published by UK publisher Hazel Press in April 2024 and was named Book of the Week at the London Review Bookshop in the first week of its release.
